Creative Writing Workshop: Critiques

•  You have put a lot of effort on using various metaphors that is related to the setting, which ignites the reader's senses. One of my favorite is " The crashing sound of the waves against the large vessel". 
• You have wrote this story with a lot of thought so that readers can understand and relate to their personal experience. It is undeniable that most people have experience a similar situation like this and are able to imagine it.
• In order for readers to understand a story, try not to use words that you are unfamiliar with because it could stir confusion among readers.One example of an awkward sentence is " ".
• This short story needs to be developed because there is more description on settings. The protagonist seems anonymous but the flat character is introduced as Innola. Try to introduce the characters and setting in a balance because most readers look forward to know what the characters are made of.
• It seems that you are taking a chance here because the structure and diction of this story appeals more towards the romantic readers. This means that you are narrowing the number and type of readers.